


Good King Mieczyslaw

by Wolves_of_Innistrad



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Bottom Derek Hale, Bottom Derek Hale/Top Stiles Stilinski, Christmas, Christmas Caroling, Cock Slut Derek Hale, Drunk Sex, Drunken Shenanigans, Enemies to Lovers, Jock Straps, M/M, Top Stiles Stilinski, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:34:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21730141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolves_of_Innistrad/pseuds/Wolves_of_Innistrad
Summary: Derek would really love it if this idiot didn't keep waking him up in the middle of the night singing drunken Christmas carols.Or 5+1 times Stiles woke Derek up in the middle of the night and one time they stayed up together.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 17
Kudos: 311
Collections: 12 Days of Sterek





	Good King Mieczyslaw

1

The first time Derek hears it he thinks it’s a passing car or the TV somehow magically turned itself on. He blinks awake, rubbing at his eyes and tugging the comforter further over his face as if it’ll block out the noise.

Of course it’s not that easy to do when someone is shouting what sounds like a very drunken rendition of Joy to the World outside his window.

“Joy to the world, joy to the WORLD, THE LORD HAS COME, leT EARTH recEIVE hiS GIFTTTTT!”

“Those aren’t even the words...” Derek grumbles. After the fourth repetition, words getting more slurred and inaccurate with each round Derek has had enough.

Tossing off his covers he pulls on socks, pants, a sweater, a jacket, a hat, gloves, a scarf and boots before storming out to the porch to shout to the man who’s still hanging off his Brick fence shouting carols.

“Shut the fuck up you aren’t even singing the right words!”

The boy, man maybe, Derek isn’t quite sure, turns to him, nearly falling backwards over the wall as his eyes find him. They look glassy and unfocused, and in the faint light of the streetlamp they seem the same color as what’s left in his half empty whiskey bottle.

“I’m singin’ the right words!” The guy hiccups after it, laughing himself silly as he tries to focus on Derek.

“No you are not and if you don’t shut up I’m calling the cops.” Derek grits his teeth to keep them from chattering in the cold, hiking his scarf up over his face. He can’t believe this idiot is dressed in blue jeans and a light jacket, his face is beet red, whether from the cold or the alcohol he doesn’t know, nor does he care.

“M’ dad’s the sheriff!” The guy says, and just as Derek’s about to laugh at that the dude doubles over and upchucks along the other side of the wall.

Derek can only think that at least he threw up on the other side of his property line.

“I don’t feel so good… I’mm go home,” the man say, voice sounding smaller, less full of bravado than before.

“Thank you.” Derek doesn’t think he deserves it, but it’s not even directed at him, just at the situation being finished. He’s got shit to do tomorrow he doesn’t need this.

By the time Derek gets back inside, takes all of his clothes off once again and lays back in bed he realizes he’s wide awake. He stares at the clock that reads 2:45 am and sighs. “Fucking caroling dumbass.”

2

The second time it happens Derek is in the middle of a very good dream, he’s getting dicked down by Captain America and it’s the best sex he’s had in months. Of course, that’s when someone stumbles into their room singing “Oh Come all ye Faithful” at the top of their lungs.

It wakes Derek up and he groans. He was so horny and that dream had been the closest he’d gotten to sex in 5 months. He’s not sure what woke him up until he hears another chorus start up from outside and he curses under his breath.

“This idiot again?” Derek huffs, pulling back the covers and grabbing his pants, a sweater, his jacket and gloves. He doesn’t have the time to get dressed again, besides his body still feels warm from the dream he’d been having, even if his erection has thankfully flagged by now.

He marches out onto his porch, catching sight of the same guy sitting on his fence singing those stupid drunken carols.

“O come all ye faithful, o come all ye faithful, o come all ye faithful...” The man says, words going around and around on repeat like a broken record.

“At least learn the words you moron!”

The guy doesn’t seem to hear him over his own caterwauling, continuing to sing the same line over and over again like a four year old that’s only heard the song once.

“Fucking...” Derek stomps down the steps of the porch, reaches down and grabs a bit of the snow from this morning and balls it up. Once he has it packed as hard as he can he takes aim, flinging it right at the singer’s head with all the force of his Varsity Baseball fastball.

There’s a loud “oof!” followed by a thud as the man tips over face first onto the ground, presumably considering Derek can’t see over the wall, and then a groan.

He can’t help it when a harsh laugh bubbles up in his throat. He cranks his arm, rubbing his shoulder since he put a bit too much torque on that. “Fuck, I need to get to the gym more.”

“No you don’t that hurt asshole!”

Derek turns his gaze back to the wall where the man has stood back up. His eyebrows go up as he sees the guy bend down and grab something before rearing back and tossing a snowball at him.

It misses wildly, landing near the bird feeder but thankfully not knocking it over. It took Derek three hours to figure out how to get it situated so the squirrels couldn’t get into it and he doesn’t know if he has the patience to redo it with this idiot messing with his sleep schedule.

There’s a loud whine and Derek turns to see the guy is honest to god pouting and he barks out another laugh. “I’d say stick to singing, but you aren’t any good at that either.”

There’s an affronted noise from the man and Derek just shrugs. “Now leave, before I hit you in the head again. Trust me you don’t wanna feel my curve ball.”

The guy says something but Derek can’t quite catch it, something about “feel your balls,” that makes him choke but then he’s leaving.

Sighing Derek trudges back inside, content to get as much sleep as he can, hitting the heat up a few notches before stripping down and sliding back underneath his covers.

3

By the third time it happens Derek should probably be expecting it, but he’s enjoying a blissful sleep when he hears more off key singing from outside. Groaning he burrows his head underneath his pillow deeper, trying to ignore it. Then he hears something hit his window and he jumps up.

“What the fresh fuck?” He moves towards it, staring at what seems like far more snow on the window than when he’d went to sleep. It’s just as he gets up close that something comes flying and he ducks, hearing it smash into the window.

He breathes a sigh of relief when he stands up and sees it isn’t broken before yanking it open in anger. A harsh blast of chilly winter air flows in, and he forgets he’s just in long johns as he shivers.

“What in the holly jolly fuck are you doing?” He shouts, getting a bit creative with his word choices.

There’s a loud snort and then high itched peels of laughter as his eyes find the culprit.

“What are the lyrics to, to the second verse- “he hiccups again, “the second verse of We wish you a merry Christmas?”

Derek feels his blood boiling even as the snow begins to fly in, little flakes resting on his long johns and wetting the fabric as they melt. “I will come down there and rip your throat out with my car’s ice scraper if you don’t shut the fuck up and let me sleep!”

“I know the first time it’s something about figgy pudding, right? Haha, figgy, that sounds like a bad word.” The guy is giggling to himself and Derek slams the window shut, feeling his body shivering. He rubs his hands over his biceps trying to warm himself back up before getting under the covers. He’s not going to interact with this idiot anymore.

Before he tries to go back to sleep he grabs his phone, groaning at the time saying it’s only 3 am, before typing in a reminder to buy himself noise canceling headphones for Christmas.

4

The fourth time happens to be on Derek’s weekly treat himself day. After the week he’s had he needs it, especially with all the sleep loss. That’s why it’s not his fault when after he came he passed out cold.

That’s how when he hears a rolling noise that builds and builds it takes a bit of tossing and turning before he wakes up.

“Pa rum pum pum pum, pum pum pum pum.”

He grunts, turning over before the singing begins in earnest and he shoots out of bed, half asleep but full of anger.

Derek doesn’t stop for anything but his boots, which is why when he goes out to the porch he’s hit with the most severe chill he’s ever felt.

“I have no gift tO BRING, PA RUM PUM P-” The guy stops mid-sentence, making a choking sound.

“Dude, are you… In just your underwear in this weather?”

It takes a minute for Derek’s half asleep brain to understand why he’s so cold, or even process the guy is speaking to him. Then he looks down and sees the only article of clothing covering his body is the bright red and green jockstrap he’s wearing, that also happens to be soiled from his release earlier, and his untied winter boots.

He’s absolutely freezing, wrapping his arms around himself, less to cover his body than to keep the warmth. Derek’s quite a hairy guy, but a chest and stomach full of it isn’t enough to insulate him from the cold. But of course he’s a stubborn, hard headed jackass when he’s tired or angry so he doesn’t move, stays rooted to the spot as his teeth chatter and he puts on his gruffest voice.

“Get the fuck off my property before I call the cops!”

There’s a loud laugh, then a long wolf whistle. “Sure you wanna call the cops looking like that? Might, ahah, might arrest you for indecent exposure!” The guy laughs more and then says “and might be some shrinkage too!”

“I’m going to shrink your head if I get a hold of you asshole!”

He only gets more laughter in response and Derek, well he’s so cold that he feels he has to give up this time, retreating inside to the warmth of his home. When he gets inside his entire body hurts from the cold, he heads upstairs, turning on the hot water to take a quick shower. He strips off the jockstrap, wincing at how it tugs at his pubes from where his dried cum has fused him to the fabric. He thinks there might have been a bit of lube still in his ass that actually froze outside and he’s even more determined to murder this caroling criminal.

5

Derek’s expecting it to happen again so he takes precautions. It’s a bit ridiculous and childish but he doesn’t care, he just wants it to stop. That’s hoe he awakens to someone yelling after a loud fall. This time he grins as he gets up, tossing a robe on over his boxer briefs with little reindeer on them and heads to the window to watch.

Sure enough his moronic singer has tried to sit on one side of the brick wall only to slide off as it’s iced over. Derek had made sure to pour enough water on it to get it nice and icy for him. He watches with gleeful anticipation as the guy moves over to the other side of the wall, closer to his window now.

“HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SI-” he starts as he’s sitting down and Derek’s grin has nearly taken over his entire face as he watches the man sit down.

His laughter rings out as he opens the window after grabbing his blanket and wrapping it around himself to shield from the cold.

His aural assailant tries to get up, but finds he can’t get off of the wall.

“What the fuck? Am I tripping?! I only had beer???”

“I told you not to come back you dumbass!”

The man turns to Derek now, as best he can when he’s stuck to the wall by the ass and gives him a look.

“Did you just Home Alone me man?”

“Yes, and you better leave before I get the Match Box cars and the nail gun!”

There’s a moment of silence before the guy laughs so long and loud that Derek almost thinks he might have gone crazy.

“If I hadn’t already seen your perfect ass last time I’d say that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Leave!”

The guy seems to be fiddling with his pants, yanking against them but it’s to no use. “Was this just an elaborate ploy to get me naked!?”

Derek growls, literally growls.

Finally, finally, the guy takes his pants off, carefully stepping back onto the sidewalk without getting caught on the wall anymore. Derek really can’t help being petty, he wolf whistles back at him, just so he knows what it’s like.

And then the guy gives Derek a smirk before turning and mooning him. “Thought you deserved a look since you’re so interested!” He laughs before running off down the street.

Derek’s not sure what makes him feel better, that his plan worked, that he didn’t have to actually leave his warm house this time, or that the guy had a really nice ass, even if it was almost as pale as the snow outside.

+1

Derek’s 3 drinks too many into his night and getting handsy with some twink that won’t leave him alone.

“’M not a twink!” the guy slurs, but he laughs as he says it. “’M a twunk,” he giggles at that, and those long fucking fingers wrap around Derek’s shoulder and drag him in and Derek forgets to breath for a minute.

“’S’ok, I like big dick twinks,” Derek whispers, gripping the guy’s crotch without a care in the world and earning a moan from the thinner man.

“Really?”

“I wanna ride your fingers and your pretty face.” Derek chuckles at his own words, leaning in to lick a stripe up the dudes long, lithe neck, lips catching around a mole and toying with it idly.

The man is shaking beneath his hands, fingers gripping at Derek’s too tight shirt. “Wanna get outta here?”

Derek nods, taking his hand and leading him out of the bar, both of them stumbling and giggling like idiots. The freezing air is a bit sobering, but it does little to calm the fire in Derek’s body, the desire coiling in his gut as he looks at those whiskey eyes.

“What’s your name again?” He asks, because he’s already forgotten.

“Stiles, yours?”

“Derek.”

“God, I can’t wait to rail you into next week Derek.”

“Mhm, gonna come down my chimney and leave a present?”

“A big one.” Stiles winks at Derek and they nearly collapse in laughter, stumbling towards Derek’s house. Just as he’s about to say they’re here and grab his keys the guy breaks away from him, running ahead to the brick wall. Derek quirks an eyebrow, not sure what’s going on before Stiles opens his mouth and he hears the unmistakable sound of his late night caroler belting out of Stiles.

“GOOD KING WENCESLAS LOOKED OUT ON THE FEAST OF STEPHEN WHEN THE SNOW LAY ROUND ABOU-”

“What are you doing?” Derek asks, because he’s drunk, but he understands, on some level, that Stiles must be the guy that’s keeping him up every night this week.

Stiles takes a breath, then huffs it out, watching it turn to vapor in the air and smiling. “Sorry, there’s a super hot guy that lives here that I’ve been flirting with.”

“Flirting with?”

“Well, it started as just drunken singing, but then I saw his face and he was so hot I had to see him again. Come to think of it, you kinda look similar to him.” Stiles eyes narrow, before he laughs and shakes his head. “Nah, you’re way prettier, he’s always got this grumpy look with, like, angry caterpillar eyebrows and an ass that won’t quit.”

Derek gives Stiles exactly that look and before he can think better of it he grabs Stiles hand and shoves it down the back of his jeans so he’s groping his ass.

“You mean these eyebrows and this ass?”

Stiles gulps, looking into Derek’s eyes, then he grins, hand cupping that ass and kneading the firm muscle until Derek groans and rocks back into it.

“You live here?”

“Yes, and if you promise not to sing anymore you can come inside and fuck me senseless, make your choice.”

“No fucking question, let’s go inside.”

“Good decision. At least this time the lack of sleep will be worth it. I’ve needed to get railed good and hard.”

“Trust me, I’ll nail you just like I nail my caroling lyrics.”

“Oh god, I’m not even gonna get to cum then.”

“Shut up!” Stiles pushes Derek through the gate, laughing as they head towards the house.

“This was the first one you seemed to even know the lyrics to...”

“I’m gonna sing it while I rim you and you’re gonna love it.”

“Whatever keeps you quiet.”

2 hours later and Derek flops down on the bed, exhausted. He’s not had a fuck that good in years, not just months and he almost can’t deal with the way his body fucking tingles all over, toes still curling from his second orgasm of the night.

Stiles lays his head on Derek’s sweaty, cum covered chest and grins, fingers brushing Derek’s chest hair back and forth.

“So glad I started drunkenly singing Christmas carols in front of your house.”

Derek’s still catching his breath but his fingers card through Stiles’ hair and he laughs. “Can’t say I’m happy about losing sleep, but fuck if that dick didn’t make up for at least… 2 nights of lost sleep.”

Stiles makes an affronted noise, flailing backwards and staring at Derek. “Only 2?!”

Derek smirks. “Guess you’ll just have to make up for the other 3 later.”

“Oh, I will. With interest.”

“My ass and my sleep schedule await your payment.”

Stiles laughs and kisses Derek before they both settle in and fall asleep.

For once Derek isn’t awakened by terrible off key Christmas carols.

For Christmas Derek buys Stiles a book of sheet music for caroling and a ball gag to shut him up. Stiles buys Derek noise canceling headphones and 3 new jockstraps.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 12 Days of Sterek 2019! I hope you all enjoy! It was a blast getting to write for my boys again, it's been too long.
> 
> As always a big thanks to all my Wonderful Readers for all the comments, kudos and subs!


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